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THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
5) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
6) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
7) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
8) Ask, “Did you feel that?”
9) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
10) When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
11) Swat at flies that don’t exist.
12) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?”
13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
15) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
Thank god the RFU banned the Australians from flying as it was getting ridiculous…
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